Recently, bullying has become a worrying habit particularly in school. The person that do BULLYING is called BULLIES. Bullying is intentional tormenting in physical, verbal, or psychological ways. It can range from hitting, shoving, name-calling, threats, and mocking to extorting money and treasured possessions. Some kids bully by shunning others and spreading rumors about them. Others use email, chat rooms, instant messages, social networking websites, and text messages to taunt others or hurt their feelings .
There are lots of reasons why people are bullied. Some people are picked on because of their religion or race, whilst others are chosen because of their weight, the clothes they wear or because they're clever - things that no-one should be ashamed of. Bullies usually dominate, blame and use others. They have contempt for the weak and view them as their prey. They lack empathy and foresight, and do not accept responsibility for their actions. They are concerned only about themselves and crave attention.
There are different types of bullies produced in different types of homes. Among them are The hyperactive bully who does not understand social cues and therefore reacts inappropriately and often physically. The detached bully plans his attacks and is charming to everyone but his victims. The social bully has a poor sense of self and manipulates others through gossip and meanness. The bullied bully gets relief from his own sense of helplessness by overpowering others.
Kids or teenagers who became bullies usually victims of bullies themselves. 40% of bullies are themselves bullied at home or at school. A victim at home is more likely to be a bully at school. The reason may be that when a bully watches another child appear weak and cowering, it disturbs him because it reminds him of his own vulnerability and behavior at home.
A bully's parents may be permissive and unable to set limits on their child's behavior. From early on, the bully can do whatever he wants without clear consequences and discipline. His parents may have been abused themselves as children and view disciplinary measures as a form of child abuse.
A bully's parents often discipline inconsistently. If his parents are in a good mood, the child gets away with bad behavior. If the same parent is under stress, he or she will take it out in angry outbursts against the child. This child never internalizes rules of conduct or respect for authority.
A bully has not learned empathy and compassion. The parents of bullies often have prejudices based on race, sex, wealth and achievement. Other people are just competitors who stand in the way. Their child must always be the best in sports or academics, and others must be kept in an inferior position. A University of Chicago study led suggested that bullies watch more aggression on television and in family interactions. Aggression is rewarded and respected, and humiliating others is tolerated. Compassion and empathy seem like weaknesses.
So how can you become a ‘bully-buster’? Just follow these simple steps and empower one child, one family, one school, and one community at a time.
1. Bias-recognize, and then forgive yourself of your biases.
We are all human. We all have biases-both positive and negative: the super-smart Asian, or the mysterious villain in a turban. The trick is to be aware, acknowledge and not unconsciously pass them on. And don’t let the media or other institutions get away with it either.
2. Insist that school and home environments reflect the world young children live in.
Pay particular attention to books as they are proven way to influence a child's worldview, help form concepts of right and wrong, and raise awareness for social issues. Cinderella’s impact on generations of young women should be all the proof you need to convince yourself of the power of the written word. Don’t forget what is absent is almost as important as what is present because the missing link can provide children with the vital information necessary for beating bullying and diversity.
3. Language matter—Watch what you say and write!
Sticks and stones really do break bones and names do hurt. A person’s nickname or mockery will be very affecting that person’s personality. For example, if people called a person as a liar, then that person will often lie to everyone around him. Even thought he didn’t mean to lie in the first place, the nickname that was given to him makes him and his personality stick to the status-quo.
4. Teach your child (or friend) how to be successful.
Create family or classroom ‘contracts’ of behavior that includes bully-busting values like Respect, Honesty, Compassion, Fairness Responsibility and Courage.
These four simple steps to stop bullying in its tracks will provide everyone with a huge payoff: safer, more secure children who can thrive in an incredibly complex and diverse world.
